I was engaged to my ex for over five years when I came to the understanding he was gay. While I knew he had experienced same-sex attraction in the past and identified as pansexual, in reality was he was struggling with internalized homophobia and chose to remain in a relationship with me as a cover for his friends and family. I discovered his true identity through a series of changes in our relationship and the discovery of gay dating apps on his phone. When I chose to step away with a full understanding of what happened, I had many difficult feelings to navigate. The switch of his personality from loving partner to vindictive and cold stranger, questioning my self worth as a woman, loss of the life we'd built together, and fear for my physical health. I felt embarrassed and humiliated reemerging to my close circle as a newly single woman after a very public relationship. I was angry, but mostly, I was sad. It took time, but I used the opportunity to reinvent myself and start anew.