For years, I kept showing up to family holidays because that's what you're "supposed" to do. Every single time, I'd leave stressed, angry, and completely drained. When I finally quit going, the hardest thing was everyone else's reactions. The questions. The pressure. The assumption that family always means reconciliation, especially during the holidays. People would say things like "but it's Christmas" or "life's too short" without understanding that my life was much more peaceful not participating. I had to learn that estrangement isn't about anger or punishment. It's about protecting your peace. Now, I've built my own holiday traditions that actually fill me up instead of emptying me out. I know how isolating it feels when everyone around you is posting family photos and you're fielding questions about why you're not "going home." I've learned how to hold my ground when the pressure peaks, and can help you do the same.