My partner and I have been together for decades, and over that time we’ve lived through many of the dynamics that long-term same-sex couples face: mismatched expectations, evolving ideas of monogamy, different levels of comfort around openness and vulnerability. Our early years were rocky, marked by uncertainty and growth at different paces. But over time, trust took root. Not everything became easy or perfectly aligned, but we learned how to stay in the work — how to stay curious, and to keep showing up for each other even when we didn’t always agree. We’ve also moved through big life questions that don’t always come with a map — like what commitment should look like when no one handed you a script, or how to make decisions about marriage when it wasn’t always legally available, or emotionally accessible. We’ve had conversations about having kids, and wrestled with what it would take — practically, financially, emotionally — to pursue that path. While we didn’t become parents, the process of facing those questions still shaped how we saw ourselves as a couple, and clarified what we were building together. We didn’t land where we are through certainty — but through conversation, through friction, and through letting the relationship evolve without needing it to resemble anyone else’s. If you’re trying to navigate your own version of partnership, wherever you are in the process, I’d be glad to talk.