My first experience with loss of a loved one was when I was 12 years old. My dad died suddenly of a heart attack. Over 30 years later it still hurts. When I lost my dad, I basically lost both parents because my mom turned to a self destructive lifestyle and was not there emotionally. It took many years but after taking a grief recovery course specifically to grieve the mother I never had and never will have, I have been able to heal so much of the pain. Additionally, at the age of 7, my middle child was diagnosed with brain cancer. This traumatic news turned forever changed our lives. The next year was intense and scary constantly at the hospitals chemo and radiation. Over 9 years ago they said there was nothing else they could do and the only thing left for me was to “consider putting him in hospice care and take him home and love him” When the doctor said these words, I was 7 months pregnant with my 3rd child.