Estrangement from my abusive family system freed me from traveling to them every holiday season. In the past I felt dread for weeks leading up to a visit and returned physically ill and emotionally depleted. At first not being with family was very difficult. The whole world seemed focused on family - every ad on TV, holiday photo cards, movies, local events - they all involved to family togetherness. I felt profoundly alone and sad I could no longer believe my family was a safe place for me, much less any source of the warm feelings of connection that seemed to be everywhere. I tried accepting invitations to others' celebrations but I felt pitied and out of place and I wanted future seasons to be easier. So, I created my own holiday rituals that did not center around family, which made me feel empowered. Now I enjoy the season in a way I never could before. I choose to do whatever feels right for me, and now I enjoy a relaxing time of peace and restoration every season.