I come from an abusive family dominated by malignant narcissism, substance misuse, and financial insecurity, so my childhood was volatile. To survive I learned to pay attention to their moods, adjust my behavior accordingly, and prioritize their needs over my own to gain bits approval I thought were love. I remained trapped in these dysfunctional patterns well into adulthood. I relocated half way across the country from my family and still tried to earn their approval. I attempted to set boundaries so I could stay in contact with some family members, but those boundaries went unrecognized. I understood they were unlikely to change and estrangement was necessary for me to heal and find my authentic self outside of that toxic system. I found my authentic self, and I am in long-term recovery from substance misuse and mental health struggles. Practicing good self-care is a daily priority including meetings with peers, my trauma therapist, and staying close with my wonderful chosen family.