I found my birth parents in college after holding the secret of discovering I was adopted in 5th grade, a secret that my adoptive parents lied to me about my entire childhood. Most would classify me as mixed race by my skin, but I identify as part of the human race first because I wasn't raised in a racial culture. I've always looked for somewhere and someone to belong to. My teen daughter's dad asked for a divorce after almost 20 years together—the more I became who I told him I was in the beginning (not straight and open to loving more than one human), the less he wanted to be married to me. I grieve the family I thought I had built. I found the love of my life states away, and I was excited to explore polyamory. After 3 years on and off, he decided to no longer be my parter. I love him immensely as my best friend and greatest teacher. I learned more in a few years with him than decades with my daughter's dad. I still grieve our adventures and way of being, especially snuggles.