I was raised in (and out) of evangelical churches. High-demand religion that left me in a lifelong pattern of people-pleasing, a lack of personal boundaries, and an unquestioning respect for authority. It also set me up for a life enmeshed in patriarchy and emotional and mental abuse within my romantic relationships. I left the organized church in my early thirties, and after experiencing a breakdown in my marriage years later, I dug deep into my spiritual practice to heal myself. I discovered that I never lost my love for Jesus, and that I earnestly wanted a relationship with God, but not in the framework of the American evangelical church. Through spending time in nature, journaling, prayer, and meditation, I rebuilt my faith and my relationship to God.